Mecha-Dress

Texts from this weekend

• Chris: YEAH SHEEP WOOL WHOO
• Me: Lol, wtf?
• Me: Do you want to go to the woolfest too??
• Chris: Oh man, CAN I?
• Me: Hells-to-the-yeah! I'll save half a sheep for you to shear. You can even buy alpacas there. Seriously
• Chris: Chelsea told me about your alpaca fetish. What you do to those animals isn't allowed in 34 states.
• Me: I still have 16 where our love can be free from discrimination
• Chris: But only eight where baby oil can be bought and does not have to be imported.
• Me: There are enough oiled animals in the gulf. I can go without.
• Chris: Do you sometimes dream that BP exploeded in-land so as to create a shining paradise of slick alpacas, as far as the eye can see?
• Me: GET OUT OF MY HEAD!